Wednesday, February 29, 2012

English is easy


English is easy.....


1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He was reading as the train sped through Reading

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time topresent the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


21) If the lead weight was removed the lead would be lighter
















Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?








You lovers of the English! language might enjoy this ...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is
'UP.'

It's easy to understand
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wakeUP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is itUP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can addUP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many waysUP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may windUP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
UP.
When it doesn't rain for a while, things dry
UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
UP,
for now my time is UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!


You still think
English is easy...?

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Seamus Heaney

RTÉ celebrated Seamus Heaney's 70th birthday by broadcasting a  documentary on Heaney's life and work
Click here

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Looking for a good book?

Looking for a good book? Then look no further!Here are some recommended reads for middle to late teenagers


Stig of the Dump, by Clive King (Puffin, £6·99)
When Barney falls down a dump the last thing he expects is to meet a cave boy. Stig was an eco-warrior before the term was invented. Sprightly, comic, classic.
Ballet Shoes, by Noel Streatfeild
(Puffin, £5·99)
Adopted sisters Posy, Pauline and Petrova Fossil train as a dancer, an actor and an aeroplane pilot. A bally treat.
Howl's Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones
(HarperCollins, £5·99)
The Witch of Waste puts Sophie under a spell. To break it, she must brave the castle of the Wizard Howl. Imaginative and terribly funny.
Just So Stories, by Rudyard Kipling
(Walker, £9·99)
Learn how the leopard got his spots and the camel his hump. And remember "The Elephant's Child" - whose "satiable suriosity" turns his "bulgy nose" into a trunk?
The Borrowers, by Mary Norton
(Puffin, £6·99)
First published in 1953, this remains a deserved favourite. The Clock family live beneath a floorboard, making do with what "human beans" drop, until one day one of them allows herself to be seen…
Struwwelpeter, by Heinrich Hoffman
(Dover, £6·99)
These pungent 1840 morality tales are not to be taken literally: in one, a boy gets his thumbs chopped off.
The Magic Faraway Tree, by Enid Blyton
(Egmont, £5·99)
Jo, Bessie and Fanny climb to the top of a magical tree, above which are endlessly circulating worlds: the Land of Birthdays, or, more unluckily, of Dame Slap.
Danny, the Champion of the World, by Roald Dahl
(Puffin, £5·99)
Danny and his hard-up father bond over poaching pheasants from nasty Mr Hazell's land - before moral dues are paid.
George's Marvellous Medicine, by Roald Dahl
(Puffin, £4·99)
To cure his grumpy grandmother, George Kranky concocts a medicine from shaving foam, sheep dip, engine oil and brown paint. Granny grows huge. The ending is dark even for Dahl.
Underwater Adventure, by Willard Price
(Red Fox, £4·99)
Willard Price invented zoologist brothers Hal and Roger Hunt to get children interested in nature. Underwater Adventure takes them into shark-infested seas. Some sharks are human.
Tintin in Tibet, by Hergé
(Mammoth, £6·99)
After Tintin reads of a plane crash in the Himalayas, he dreams his friend Chang has survived. Uniquely, there are no villains - just a tender yeti and acres of snow.
The Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales
(Chronicle, £11·99)
Sourced from medieval German folktales by Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm in the 19th century, these sanguinary stories deal with abduction, cannibalism and worse.
Erik the Viking, by Terry Jones, illustrated by Michael Foreman
(Puffin, £5·99)
Erik tells his wife that he must go to "the land where the sun goes at night"; off he travels on an atmospheric adventure, terrifically illustrated.
When the Wind Blows, by Raymond Briggs
(Penguin, £7·99)
Jim and Hilda Bloggs's preparation for a nuclear attack remains enthralling. First comic, then moving.
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats, by TS Eliot
(Faber & Faber, £4·99)
This delightful collection of verse sees cat-loving Eliot capering about with his trousers rolled. A perfect introduction to the pleasures of poetry for children.
The Iron Man, by Ted Hughes
(Faber & Faber, £4·99)
Since it appeared in 1968, the late Poet Laureate's children's book has become a classic. Benign iron bloke falls from sky, battles space-bat-angel-dragon, saves world. Bliss.
The Owl and the Pussycat, by Edward Lear
(Corgi, £5·99)
Edward Lear's bizarre story of inter-species elopement and gastronomic adventure still charms and diverts. Runcible.
The Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth Grahame
(Egmont, £5·99)
"Believe me, my young friend, there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats." But reading about Mole, Ratty, Toad and Badger runs it a close second.
The Worst Witch Collection, by Jill Murphy
(Puffin, £16·99)
Before Harry Potter there was Mildred Hubble, the worst witch at Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches. A tale of flying broomsticks, rivalries and magical pedagogy.
Peter Pan, by JM Barrie
(Puffin, £4·99)
JM Barrie's Neverland adventures were first performed as a play, and later turned into a novel. Clap your hands if you believe.
Mr Majeika, by Humphrey Carpenter
(Puffin, £4·99)
Mr Majeika, with his tuft of hair, is ever ready to cast spells on unruly pupils - most notably Hamish Bigmore, whose rudeness gets him changed into a frog. Charming and funny in equal measure.
The Water Babies, by Charles Kinglsey
(Wordswoth, £1·99)
Tom the sweep drowns after being chased from a rich household and falls into a sub-aquatic purgatory. But once he proves his worth he is allowed wonderful adventures.
A Little Princess, by Frances Hodgson Burnett
(Wordsworth, £1·99)
Seven-year-old Sara Crewe is sent back from India to Miss Minchin's Seminary for Young Ladies in England, to discover she has lost her fortune to a swindler and her father to disease. A stirring tale.
I'm The King of the Castle, by Susan Hill
(Penguin, £7·99)
A powerful and claustrophobic study of bullying, this has a real narrative grip and a frightening message. No reader remains untouched.
The Wave, by Morton Rhue
(Penguin, £5·99)
Teacher Ben Ross doesn't think his students understand what it was like to live in Nazi Germany, so he devises an experiment. A powerful story about the risks of conformism.
Pippi Longstocking, by Astrid Lindgren
(Oxford, £14·99)
Pippi is impulsive, irrepressible, red-haired and so strong you won't believe it. Her bizzare adventures delight children and confound health and safety.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl
(Puffin, £5·99)
Charlie Bucket's adventures in Willy Wonka's factory - the chocolate rivers, the minia-tuarisation room, the Oompa Loompas - will live for ever.
Bambert's Book of Missing Stories, by Reinhardt Jung
(Egmont, £4 ·99)
Shy Bambert sends his half-written stories into the world attached to balloons for whoever finds them to finish. Stories come back from all over the world, and the final story is heartbreaking.
The Firework-maker's Daughter, by Philip Pullman
(Corgi, £4·99)
Lila's father doesn't want her to follow his career in fireworks so she must prove herself on an epic quest that takes in dragons and pirates.
Tom's Midnight Garden, by Philippa Pearce
(Oxford, £5·99)
As Tom lies in bed preparing for the most boring holiday of his life, the clock strikes 13. Racing downstairs he sees daylight and a beautiful garden where there should be darkness. Incredibly exciting.
The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster
(HarperCollins, £5·99)
A bored young boy pushes his toy car through a toy tollbooth, and finds himself in the kingdom of Wisdom. Genius wordplay, slapstick and a real sense of fun.
The Silver Sword, by Ian Serrallier
(Red Fox, £4·99)
Just after the Second World War, a group of children navigate war-torn Europe armed with little more than a letter opener. Tense, demanding and adult.
Cue for Treason, by Geoffrey Trease
(Puffin, £5·99)
After Peter Brownrigg chucks a stone at his landlord, he has to flee to London. Here he meets Shakespeare and uncovers a plot to kill Queen Elizabeth. Tudor derring-do.
The Sword in the Stone, by TH White
(HarperCollins, £6·99)
The trials of Arthur have never been more amusingly described. Merlin is the archetype for all dotty wizards.
A Wizard of Earthsea, by Ursula K LeGuin
(Puffin, £5·99)
LeGuin's fantasy lands are scrupulously realised, but it is emotional complexity that makes her books so engrossing. Here a young wizard has to come to terms with the destructive power of his magic.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, by JK Rowling
(Bloomsbury, £5·99)
The third book may be the best in JK Rowling's series. All the usual Potter tricks are here, but the highlight is the Dementors, the terrifying guards of Azkaban prison.
The Chronicles of Narnia Box Set, by CS Lewis
(Collins, £49·99)
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe isn't the only Narnia story worth reading. The Silver Chair is a powerful allegory of mental slavery; and Voyage of the Dawn Treader sees a talking mouse paddle over the edge of the world.
His Dark Materials Box Set, by Philip Pullman
(Scholastic, £22)
Pullman's riposte to CS Lewis is a trumpet-blast against dogma - but, above all else, a gripping adventure.
The BFG, by Roald Dahl
(Puffin, £5·99)
At the witching hour, a giant blows sweet dreams into children's bedrooms. When orphan Sophie sees him one night, he takes her to his cave. Beware whizzpoppers!
Swallows and Amazons, by Arthur Ransome
(Red Fox, £7·99)
Childcare used to be a bit less hands on ("Better drowned than duffers. If not duffers won't drown") and one cannot read the adventures of these four children in a lost Eden without a lump in the throat.
Clarice Bean, Don't Look Now, by Lauren Child
(Orchard Books, £7·99)
At first glance one for the girls, but boys should read it too. Over the series Clarice has matured from an infant with a quirky vocabulary into a complex, engaging teenager.
The Railway Children, by E Nesbit
(Oxford, £8)
When their father is accused of treason, Bobbie, Peter, Phyllis and their mother move to the country. They pass the time watching trains go by and proving their father innocent, which is nice.
The Selfish Giant, by Oscar Wilde
(Puffin, £5·99)
Wilde's giant wants to keep children out of his garden so that he can have it to himself. But it stays shrouded in snow until one day, when the giant's hard heart is softened by one of the boys…
Black Beauty, by Anna Sewell
(Puffin Classics, £4.99)
One of the greatest books ever narrated by a horse, with a fine message: be kind to animals, and they'll be kind to you.
Just William, by Richmal Crompton
(Macmillan, £5·99)
The classic naughty schoolboy, William wages a gentle war of attrition against parental and teacherly authority.
Jennings Goes to School, by Anthony Buckeridge
(House of Stratus, £6.99)
Catapults, grazed knees, and mischief of the best sort. Hogwarts may have revived our appetite for boys-school stories, but Jennings was there first.
Comet in Moominland, by Tove Jansson
(Puffin, £4·99)
Moomin is a peculiar fellow, but through him and his equally peculiar friends the Finnish author Tove Jansson explores the big issues: friendship, alienation, fear, loss and meteors from outer space.
The Bad Beginning, by Lemony Snicket
(Egmont Books, £6·99)
This magnificently black-hearted book introduced us to the Baudelaire children, orphaned in a fire and trying to keep one step ahead of the predatory Count Olaf, who is after their inherited fortune.

Link to Written Word Supplement in the Irish Independent

http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/education/the-irish-independent-presents-the-written-word-2529878.html

Friday, February 10, 2012

Bottoms up for books in schools?

SCHOOLBOOKS could soon be a thing of the past. Technology giant Microsoft has teamed up with publisher CJ Fallon to use 'cloud computing' to deliver textbooks on a computer.

http://www.independent.ie/national-news/textbook-revolution-on-way-3015867.html

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Personal" Versus "Personnel

http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/personal-versus-personnel.aspx

Need help with grammar?

This is the best english blog I've ever seen! Any grammatical question can be quickly solved with grammar girl!
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/

Teacher's recommend books

Mr. Connely recently read 'Huckleberry Finn' by Mark Twaine and says he really enjoyed it!

Miss O'Sullivan is half way through 'The Hare with the Amber Eyes' by Edmund de Waal and really enjoys the blend of infomative and discriptive writing. An unusal book that leaves her longing for the past!

Free graphic novels

http://free-online-novels.com/graphic.html
above is link to graphic novels

The language is aimed at kids with below average reading age but the content was more targeted at their actual age. They are excellent books, particularly for boys. Might be worth taking a look at.